The Inevitable Loss

we're getting destroyed
this is just a warm-up game
next game we'll fuck butts

Sword Woe

a guy here somewhere
I'll look around this corner
shit! he's got the sword!

The Gross Conundrum

stick together guys
gross runs into the battle
assumes we follow

Split

our team got split up
I'm stuck with some dumb asses
please be over soon

Strategy

They have Generals
We should all stick together.
Why am I alone?

Sandtrap

No clouds in the sky-
Sand stretches beyond the mines.
My chopper wobbles

Sack Trouncing

your ball sack got trounced
arrogant words silenced by
superior skill

Combobreaker

oh god its magic
though I die, we still kill you
booyakashazam

Don't Go In There

Shotgun in sword room
Dude, why did you rush in there?
Learn the internet!

Lucky Horseshoe

The snow fall is thin
Upon curved symmetry.
I'll get the Hornet.

Hogging

Gross is on gunner
One more kill gets us Frenzy
Getting bold, lasered.

Lullaby

ba-boom blast bomb pow

rhythmic boop boop boop beep pow

into my dreams: game over

Well if I'm gay...

Unicorns are gay?
I fucked your Great-Grandfather
So he's gay, also.

Oh, sweet! Valhalla!
Wait, Team Snipers? Fuck that shit!
No! Veto, veto!

Anger Management

Rape-Fuck! I just died!
I blame you! Stick together!
Fuck they are so good!

Warthog Surprise

Sniper from the base!
Oh, shit! Here comes a Warthog!
Stuck it! Triple Kill!

The Miracle

unicorns stolen

from my preteen fantasies

returned to my den

Desperate Housewife

spartans have cute butts

looking past the trail of death

eye candy for me

Splat

maybe i can play

oh, that's right - i have to kill

cyber blood scares me

Galloped Away

i hear the theme song

my heart swells with hope promised

the game takes my man

Profane

you're so frustrated
"you know what we talked about"
screaming profane words

(for Jason)

Happiness

to play some assholes
triumph on the battlefield
is true happiness

Homophobe

unicorn icon
you say I like sex with boys
you are mistaken

Frustration #1

the end of a clip
reloading takes forever
my foe defeats me

Verge of Death

My shield is beeping
running toward a blue Spartan
swift melee kills him

Tales from Valhalla #2

I need a gunner
Spartan laser is mid-field
triumphant wheelman

Tales from Valhalla #1

Mancannon outward
a power drain sucks my life
missiles don't fail me